We live in a technological age where it's possible to meet 'the one' anywhere in the world. With the increase of online / long distance relationships, new questions are asked, and better answers are needed. We (Shin and Robert) want to help.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Foundations... Part 1
Everything from the simplest friendship, to a life long marriage, needs a solid foundation to work. It's like building a house, you just can't do it without a good foundation to build on. In a relationship, any relationship, from friendship on up to life long love, you need the fundamental elements.

I'm not talking about superficial things. The fundamental elements of a relationship is not "wow, she's cute" or "he looks hot in those jeans". The foundation begins with you. Ok, so you think someone is attractive, great, how much do you know about them? How much do you know about yourself? Are you the kind of person that you can believe in? Do you have solid fundamental values & ethics that guide you in life? Are those values & ethics morally correct? Does it make sense to have those values, does common sense back your ethics up?

Some people don't have deeply rooted values & ethics. Some people don't have core beliefs. Some people live a reactionary lifestyle, adopting and forsaking values & beliefs when it's convenient to them, or helps them fit in with who they are with at the time. Too many people don't know who they are inside. How can you share your life honestly, if you don't know what you believe in? We all have different friends, with different interests and so on. If someone tells one friend that they believe in something, and then tells a different friend something completely to the opposite... then neither is true, and that person has lied to both friends.

Trying to gain the acceptance of others by faking to be someone you are not, is not honest. It's not honest to you or them. Trying to be popular by claiming certain values or beliefs that you don't truly believe in, is fake, and when those beliefs are tested, your weak foundation crumbles. Honesty, or at least simple truth, is a major part of the foundation of relationships. Without the foundation of honestly, there is nothing on which to build the trust.

"This above all: To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou cans't not be false to any man" - William Shakespeare

"If you start with knowing yourself honestly, you'll learn to share yourself with others truthfully" - Robert Paul Gilles Jr.

"Faith may be free, but trust should be earned" - Robert Paul Gilles Jr.
posted by Robert @ 5:15 AM  
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